El desespero

Finally, after 10 episodes, I get to see the perfect example of desespero. Not only once, but TWICE! Back to back desespero and it’s beautiful. The first instance builds up with Teresa being fired from her job at Yamila to help Fatima find her son, both of the girls are kicked out of their apartments. At the same time, Teresa is also recovering from her fight with Santiago over his trafficking of both drugs and people. She sits there alone, drinking out of a bottle of tequila. Side note: tequila. Apparently, La Mexicana drinks nothing else; only tequila. Anyways, she is sitting there. Alone. Drinking a bottle of tequila. Sad music playing behind her and flashes of all the good moments she had with Santiago. That is desespero.

The second instance has more of a build up. For his first mission trafficking humans, Santiago gives several stipulations. 1. Everyone must have a life jacket, 2. No children under fifteen. The very fact that these stipulations are presented means that they won’t be followed in one way or another. As people start loading onto the boat, Santiago starts noticing children. He puts up a fight but finally relinquishes and allows them on board. During the trip, two boys fall off the boat; Santiago jumps in after them but only manages to save one. I’m not going to lie: the library was not the best place to watch this scene. Seeing Santiago swimming around yelling “¿Donde está?” only to find an empty life jacket was heart wrenching. Santiago’s following reaction was completely understandable. The show cuts to everyone running jumping off the boat and running to shore; Santiago simply stands there taking swigs out of a bottle of alcohol. Where did it come from? I don’t know. Without putting the bottle down, Santiago and Lalo meet their accomplice to retrieve their money. Santiago ends up hitting him in the face and screaming that he will never traffic people again, he doesn’t even want the money. Santiago finally ends up passed out on Teresa’s doorstep. The look on his face though just kills me. It’s utter sadness, and anger, and hopelessness; like he can’t carry on with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

That face. That face makes you fall in love with Santiago. It shows that he really is a good person, even if he is a trafficker. When Teresa finds Santiago, he apologizes for not listening to her. He cries in front of her, he can barely walk, he’s completely vulnerable. After these really emotional scenes, the author does give some comedic relief. Teresa pushes Santiago into a cold shower and he makes it as difficult as possible to sober him up. As the audience, we get a little bit of everything: sadness, shock, romance, despair, and comedy. It makes for a great episode.